Philippians 4:13

First of all this week has been well, stressful, tiring, testing, and did I say tiring?  I had 4 tests, 2 lab practicals, and a paper due. As well has 100 other things going on.  In the next week I have to make quite a few decisions about things as well, which doesn't put me in the best position.  Oh and I have 2 more tests next week.  But on the bright side in about a week I'm going to New York with a great group of people, and I am sooo excited.

I have been feeling very distant from it seems like everyone and everything lately, including God.  I'm not really sure if its because I have had so much going on, or if its because it seems like I am always tired, or  if I just don't have the ambition.  Either way though I'm just kind of confused on what to do. On how to fix things, and how not to be distant from so many people that I love, and most of all God.  I think I'm going to really try to make it a priority to spend time journaling and just spending alone time with God, and we will see where that goes.

Although this week has been one of the worst weeks I've had in quite some time, a lot of good has come out of it.  I was getting pretty worried that I wasn't going to be able to raise all the money for the New York  Trip I'm going on for Spring Break, and today I got a call from someone saying that they are going to be sending me $200, which is exactly the amount I needed.  It was really cool to see the Lord work in that way.  Also just knowing that I could accomplish everything I had going on this week was really cool.  It was so challenging, but in the end I really think it helped me grow as a person.  This week has also been one filled with laughs and new friends.  I met quite a few people this week, which was awesome.  Also I think I laughed more and had more fun times then the usual, which is usually quite a bit.

In the end of this week, I am thankful though. I'm thankful for the strength to get through it.  The strength to not break down when I literally studied my butt off for a test and it didn't show in my grade.  I'm thankful for my family, for my moms surgery going good, my roommate, Jess, Libby,Chelsea, Rachelle, Shannon, Reghan, Hailey, Rachel, Carrie, Dorie, Margaret, Bethany Livengood, Hannah, and so many more!  Im thankful for my friends at home.  I'm thankful for having an RA and Diversity Coordinator who care about everyone and everything so much, I couldn't have asked for better ones if I wanted. I'm thankful for being able to go to New York and to be able to minister to the people who need the love of Jesus so much.  I'm thankful for talking to one of my favorite people in the whole world.  And most importantly I'm thankful for my relationship with Jesus, and to be able to love him freely in the country I live in.  I could go on and on about what I'm thankful for.  So when your having a bad day or week, think about that.  Think about everyone you have and how much you have. Think about how many people love you, and how many great opportunities we have.  

Trusting

Today has been such a great day so far.  My alarm went off about ten times, before I could make myself sit up,and get out of bed.  After that happened though, things have been so great.  For some reason,today, I have been so happy.  I'm not sure wether its because its above 10 degrees and sunny outside, or if its because I got enough sleep, but either way I'm just really happy.
Church this morning was great as always.  The Taylor University Gospel Choir came, and they were so stinking good!  It was so fun to watch everyone clap their hands and do different motions, and people just love on one another.  Thats one thing I love about that church, everyone just genuinely loves one another.  After church Chelsea, Mary Beth, Reghan, Jess and her mom, sister, sister-inlaw and niece all went to lunch Baldwin.  It was so fun, and I got to hold a beautiful 3 month old baby.  I love babies, so much.  Anyways after lunch Chelsea, Reghan, Mary Beth and I decided to escape to Starbucks for a few hours to do homework.  It was really nice.  Just sitting there, listening to music, and people having conversations.  Something about it helped me get work done, which was great.

Sundays are a great day for me to reflect on the past week, and look forward to things in the week that is coming.  Its a day to just rest and get caught up on homework, and most of all its a day with the Lord.  Today at church I really started thinking about the little things that God has done for me, as well as the big things.  Each and everyday he does something, and there is always something to learn about him, which I think is so cool.  One of the things I have really been learning lately is to fully trust in him.  Earlier in the year I experienced a situation in which if I didn't trust in him I wasn't going to get through this very large obstacle.
It was early in October, and I decided to be spontaneous and go on a hiking trip with my school in the mountains of Kentucky.  I was kind of apprehensive, but in the end I was so happy that I went.  We got to the mountain at about 1:00 am and we started hiking from there.  After about half an hour of hiking up killer hills, we found a place to put our tents for the night, and from there we set them up and went to sleep for the night.  The next morning  we got up, and started our hike for the day.  The hills were steep and as the day went on got harder and harder.  The first day we hiked about 7 miles or so, we set up camp for the night, and went to sleep.   The next morning we woke up, thinking that we were only going to have to go about 4 more miles, and started hiking for the day.  We were all tired, hungry, and very thirsty.  As the day went on the hiking got harder and harder and with every step we took, we got more tired.  It wasn't until later in the day did we realize we were going the wrong way.  It was pretty devastating, when you realize something like that and are totally exhausted beyond means.  It was at that moment that the only way I knew I was going to get through it was by praying and fully trusting in God.  So after a few moment of pity, we all got up and started hiking once again.  We hiked the next 7 or so miles faster then the first 10 miles we did.  It was all God that got us through it, and we all knew that.  I could say so much more about this trip, but that was just a little insight on it.  That weekend I learned a lot.  Not only about nature, but about life as well. I learned that life is like a mountain.  You have your ups and downs, you have hardships, and happy times.  Either way though you need to trust God through it all.  You need to put your life in the hands of God, and everything will maybe not turn out your way, but in the end everything will make sense.
I'm still learning to trust God with my whole heart.  I learning that wether you are going through a trial or a joyous time in your life you need to give your full heart to God and trust in him.  
  

Kids retreat

This past weekend I had the option of doing quite a few things.  I really wanted to go home.  I wanted to sit in my room and just sleep, because my brain is literally exhausted.  I wanted to go somewhere or do something spontaneous.  I wanted to hang out with people that I have come to love.  But in spite of everything that I wanted to do, I went to a lock-in at my church with about 30 kids.  It was so great and tiring, and so stinking fun.
Starting Friday at 4:00 pm.  I walked into one of my favorite places, Faith Baptist Church of Marion, IN.  Around 6:00 kids started to come,wild, bright eyed, and full of energy.  We played games, ate pizza, chips, and may I add tons of candy.   We played wii, did crafts, dodge ball, and watched tons of movies.
My favorite part of this whole 24 hours was the praise and worship/lesson.  I was amazed at how much kids can really retain.  I was amazed at how much a 5 year old knows about Jesus.  When we were in the "kids tank" singing songs I was amazed at how literally every single one of those kids, were worshipping the Lord.  It was so encouraging and at that moment I knew that I was exactly where I was suppose to be. I was suppose to be at this lock-in and not at home, or hanging out with friends, but with these wonderful kids.
Overall it was a great 24 hours.  And even though it was really tiring, it was so worth it.  It was worth it when the kids walk up to you and hug you.  Or when they say you "thank you" , or  tell you how much fun they had.
Tomorrow is sunday.  I'm happy about that.

Sunday

   I figured its about time I start one of these.  I would classify myself as a blog stalker, and I personally just love thoughts, writing, and putting it all together.  So a blog is the perfect thing.  I am not quite sure how good I will be at this or much I will post, but I thought I would try.  

Today was such a good, good day.  God truly taught me so much.  I woke up, and went to sunday school for the first time at my church.  We started with singing a few songs, and then we split up into groups.  I was in the freshmen girls group, and it was just awesome.  I met new people.  I learned new things, and most of all I really felt like God taught me stuff.  He taught me that in order for me to be in a relationship with really anyone, and for it to be good, you need to put God first in everything you do.  You need to make him your number one priority, and from there things will fall into place, and he will bless you beyond measures.  After sunday school I went to a great church service.  We talked about the Lord's Prayer and specifically the words "Our Father".  I learned that he is our procreator.  He is the one who imagined us, he is the one who shaped us, and he is the one whose DNA we share.  I learned that he is our Protector.  He values our life, he stands between us and our enemies, and most of all that he laid down his life for us.  And last but not least.  I learned he is our provider.  He is able to provide like no other person or thing in this world.  That his desire is to provide, and His provision is a testimony of his faithfulness.  After church I had a meeting about the missions trip I am going on over Spring Break.  I am going to New York City, and serving homeless people.  I have never been on a missions trip before, and I am so excited, scared, and confused all in one.  I am confused because I am not really sure as to why God wants me to go on this trip, scared because I have never been on a trip like this before, and so excited because i get to meet new people, serve the homeless, and most of all serve the lord.  I think its going to be great, and a really eyeopening experience.  

Today I also got to hang out with my church family.  It was sooo great.  There were lots of kids, great food, cards, and games, and just a lot of joy and laughter.  Every time I hang out with them its truly such an encouragement to me.  They all love God so much, and are all so giving and so inviting to everyone.  They make me feel like I am at home, and I really cannot ask anymore from them.  I am so blessed and today I really realized that. 

So this day was such a joy.  It was a day filled with love, and laughter, and most of all filled with the Lord.  This week I am really going to try and see the small things that the Lord has blessed me with.  I'm going to try to spend more time with him, and just really seek him.  This should be a good week.

Well until next time folks,

This is Ashley Harris reporting out.  

By the way. I love my roommate.  Especially when she itches my arms, and listens to my problems,  and provides me with fruit snacks every day of the week.